love the wang

This blog thing has thus been a slight failure. So like all things I feel discontent with in my life, I’ve decided to haphazardly scribble down a course of action in my “all the crap i want to buy/do/make” notebook and acquire a plan for attack. All this, of course, after I 1. do my laundry 2. organize my closet 3. vacuum the apartment and 4. wash the dogs (everything that was on my “to tackle” list, like last month…) My name is Jenny Wang, and I make lists and plans without actually doing them. They make me feel like I’m actually accomplishing something when I’m really marinating on the couch with the DVR remote in my hand. My name is Jenny Wang, and I am trying hard to change.

Let’s address a bit though, some reasons for my blogging failure.

1. Condescending bitches at work who judge and cause me to be insecure about what I write. Then I realize, I am who I am, I’ve never backed down from an opinion and I, pretty much, never will.  The people who really know me, I believe, wouldn’t take offense to my ridiculous sense of humor and crass language, so c’est la vie. Nothing has ever been accomplished without risk, and this wouldn’t be the first time I offend someone, so I’m just gonna write it as I see it.

2. I never really wanted to reveal who I was because I work in a public place and fearful of stalkers. I’m a bartender. I see some customers like EVERY WEEKEND, and they think they know me. Explain to me how this conversation is revealing:

“hi! how are you!”

“you know man, just chilling.”

“so, what can i get you to drink?”

“two jack and cokes”

“ok, $14. thanks!”

Yeah man, we’re like totally friends and that Ed Hardy shirt looks awesome on you. Let’s be real about something, I have very few true friends in this world and I’m damn proud of it. I don’t need like 800 friends of facebook to feel secure and/or attractive. So if you are my customer, it’s cool. I have nothing against you, I’ll shoot the shit and be polite and make a stiff drink so you can lose yourself on a weekend night. Heck, I’ll even help you get laid! But we’re not really friends. I’m sorry, please don’t stop tipping.

3. I’m whiny. I’m trying not to be, but I am. And like every other post is some ransom depressing self discovery instead of something cool I’m doing that someone wants to read about. So here’s to an attempt to tone down the whininess and talk more about pictures I’m taking, crafts I’m making, places I’m going or things I’m cooking.

4. When I first got my apartment, I bought this dining table :

Super cute right? I thought so too, and I was like ‘when I’m not eating on it, I can totally use it as a workspace.’ YEAH, round tables aren’t optimal desks. Lesson learned the hard way. So I was pretty much without a proper desk or designated workspace and hence, no proper environment for inspiration…oh yeah, and since I eat EVERY meal on the couch ANYway, this cute, round, mid-century inspired, Danish knock-off was completely obsolete. So once I get rid of this round space-suck, I’m getting a proper rectangular desk/table and hopefully be able to sit down at this every morning with a cup of tea, like a normal, productive human. (At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. My name is Jenny Wang and I have stupid ambitions.) P.S. Anyone who wants this desk is welcome to come and get it. FREE. Thanks.

5. I write in really embedded run-on sentences that people probably get dizzy reading. I’m sorry, I have word vomit and I feel the need to express all of it.

6. I had no structure. In the upcoming weeks, I’m going to blogs a little more about categories I love and aspire to cover: my dogs (sorry, I’m a proud crazy dog lady,) baseball (and hot men who play them,) FOOD, crafts, more work related stuff, fashion (cause I love me some expensive ass shoes,) photography, and well…MORE.

I’m going to end this post with 2 images I created for a class I recently took at UCI. The images are about who I want to come off as versus who I am behind closed doors….and that’s all I’ll say for now…SO here’s to a hopeful new start on the blog.

(P.S. Can anyone teach me widget so I can edit this damn webpage?)