women.
so i’ve been harassed these past months about my lack of activity on this site, so here we go: today’s topic- women. inspired by a few things
1. my urge to kill myself when having to choose which sale to shop in- neimans, barney or net-a-porte. they’re all having a sale, they’re all showcasing christian louboutins like they’re going out of style. and we all know about my sickening addiction to those red soles. i mean, i don’t NEED them. i just want them. ALL of them. and the manolos. and the diors, okay, and the chloe’s too. yeah, and throw in the jimmy choos while you’re at it.
2. leona lewis’ song bleeding love. it’s catchy. but there’s something about it. one night at work, one of the guys who plays for the ducks hopped onto the DJ set and played it because his fiance wanted to hear it. in the middle of a friday night hip-hop set comes blaring “you cut me open and i keep on bleeding” sung by a soulful woman’s voice. ALL the females in the bar are singing along, word for word and ALL the men just look SO confused (scared too). i mean, it’s a game killer. there you are, macking on some skanky chick and all of a sudden, she’s wailing “i keep on bleeding” i mean, what’s a man to do?
3. sex in the city, the movie. i just came from the MIDNIGHT premier. that’re right. i can’t help it. any movie where the wardrobe IS the headliner, i can’t help but be drawn to. it, as promised, did not disappoint. there were the dior sandals. westwood gowns. and chanel bags. one, more shiner than the other. and the very temptation to just be homeless and spend rent on couture.
4. the fear of woman. i’ve coined a new term due to my observation of men whom i work with. those with girlfriends are very respectful of women, those without? not so much. so, i’ve decided that those who ARE respectful have had “the fear of women put in them.” like the fear of God, but much scarier.
i’ve recently moved into a place by myself and i’ve gotten a severe over-dose of me-time. but i’ve learning it’s about discipline. because when there’s no one to be upset at you about not doing the dishes, the only thing that’s motivating you is YOU (okay and sanitation reasons, but you’re the only one that will know you’re a pig!) there are pros: singing to “bleeding love” at the top of your lungs, watching sportscenter 3 times in a row, NOT putting up the ugly poster your roommate thinks is cool. there are cons: no one to talk to about your day, no one to steal food from, no one to share funny TV shows with. but, it was time. and while i may never FEEL growned up, i can sure SEEM like it “in MY apartment”
ALSO, I’m suppose to be running a 10K obstacle course mud run on June 14th. the training not going so hot. or more like, at all. let’s regurgitate a conversation between my co-worker and myself:
me: yeah, i’m suppose to run a 10K in the mud on the 14th.
co-worker: wait, the mud run? the one at camp pendleton?
me: yeah, that one.
co-worker: i tried to sign up but it was full!
me: yeah, i need to start training.
co-worker: you haven’t started training? isn’t it like an obstacle course too!? IN THE MUD.
me: yeah, let’s stop talking about it. because it we talk about it, then it actually has to happen. if we stop talking about it, it doesn’t exist right?
co-worker: your team is going to KILL you.
oh gawd. i’m going to die.
in closing: things i’ve learned today that are of importance- in the movie, samatha jones says “i’m going to say what i’m not suppose to say. i love you, but i love myself more.” i think it’s a brilliant line. you and yourself. loves can come and loves can go. what you think is everlasting-happily-every-after with someone else can be one skank away from your divorce lawyers fighting over custody of your dog, so what is it that makes women throw their whole identities out the window for partnership? can you be a fulfilling partner if your own identity is so easily swayed? and maybe it’s something about orange county, or maybe just newport beach (maybe the hormone levels are just higher?) but there are couples EVERYWHERE. and they’re like ridiculously attractive abercrombie couples. which makes you think- is there substance in a relationship of just beautiful (yes, they’re dumb) people? i mean, i know sound like the single girl talking, but i like myself. being pompous is part of my character. so i guess, now it’s just a matter of finding someone i could possible love just AS MUCH as myself?